HOW IT FEELS

Many people are asking how we feel right now...just 5 days before we get on a plane for Africa with our 4 little ones. I have to say, it feels a bit like I am standing in line for a really scary roller coaster. I was SO excited to get in line...I love adventure, after all! But as I get closer to the front of the line, I can see some of the loops and hills of the roller coaster more closely and it looks a bit scary. I can hear the screams of the passengers...some of them seem like they didnt have a good time when they get off. My stomach starts to feel a bit queazy/nauseous...I start wondering if this is really a good idea. But then I remind myself that I have ridden many roller coasters and I have never died...I've never even thrown up. "The engineers have done a good job making this safe, I tell myself...it will be okay." Going to Africa for me is a great deal like this. As I "stand in line" to get on the plane, I have that queazy kind of scared feeling when I start to see some of the details unfold. When I realize that life will demand FLEXIBILITY and I am NOT a flexible person, I feel even more anxious. But then, I remember the engineer above who designed this plan for us. He knows what He is doing. And I have ridden the rides He has designed before, and never died. Sometimes the rides are scary and I beg for a way off, but He always gets me safely to the end, when I walk away thinking, "that wasn't so bad...it was actually kind of fun!" Last Sunday at church our pastor providentially ended our two year study of Hebrews with the benediction at the end of the book...Now may the God of PEACE...equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight..." (13:20-21). I am so thankful for the truth that the God who calls us to take this next step will Himself equip us, strengthen us, even carry us in those times when we just can't do it. I realized this past few days, as I literally was gripped with a feeling of terror a few times, that the kind of things I will learn this next year are things that I would have a hard time learning in America...I have too much, it is too easy, I am too "competent" to need God as much as I will need Him in Africa. And that, I imagine Him saying, is precisely the point! It won't be long now!