ADOPTION ADJUSTMENT

Entertained some wonderful guests this week as our non-profit organization, Fields of Promise, moves into the next phase of planning for our future work in Ethiopia. No, I didn't say we were staying, (I know my sister reads this!!), but we wanted to find some long term ways to be involved in Mekelle after we go home. We are working to establish an NGO that will offer humanitarian services alongside a few local agencies to help the blind students, those needing corrective surgeries, and orphans in need of permanent care. Anyway, as part of this entertaining, we visited a local project for mothers that assists them with skills training and counseling. The director had quite a few words for me when she heard I had been involved with adoption work in the US and that I was an advocate for Ethiopian adoption. She described it as "very bad" and said that for a child to leave his or her culture and have to go live with a white family was "torture...really tortuous". Then she asked if I knew of any Ethiopian children who had had to leave their country and go be raised by white parents and I said, "yes....I have one!" She did some backpeddling and we both agreed to disagree and move on with our tour, as this is really something we hear quite frequently up here. Some folks are convinced the children go the states for body parts, others refer to child labor and that this MUST be the reasons why American families would want Ethiopian children. Adoption is not part of their culture here. There are MANY families who take in children of their sister or cousin when someone passes away...that is quite common. But rarely do we see these children being given the same rights or privileges or status as the biological children of the extended family. So for us to love our son Nati the same way we love our 3 biological children is quite surprising as a concept! Most folks think it is great, and we have had positive responses. But for some, the thought is that they are better off here. We agree wholeheartedly that if someone is available to raise a child here, it is usually better. I say usually, because sometimes the child is being treated like a servant with extended family and we don't see this as ideal either. But I still believe adoption is a wonderful blessing for a family and a child when it is handled carefully. So I came home and mentioned to our almost 6 year old son Natinael, "so Nati...some people say that it isn't good for Ethiopian kids to go to America and leave their country." Nati replied, "Well I like America and my new family! I'm glad!" I said,"yes, but some people say it is too hard on the kids and they have to make too many adjustments with their new crazy white parents!" Nati's reply has just stuck with me...he said, "Awww...they get over it!" It was just precious.