Day 6 – Rest and Reflection

Because I had a rough night last night due to eating the wrong thing or just my stomach adjusting to the malaria meds or the food or the altitude, I spent most of the day resting at the guest house, taking in all the sounds, and catching up on some computer work. I went with the project director to lunch at his home, sharing gifts of play-doh and matchbox cars which were embraced wholeheartedly by his kids age 2 and almost 6. After returning to the house, I worked on the NGO proposal for re-registration with new governement office developed recently to monitor social sector NGO’s. A voice called up to my room and it was the head housemother with two of my favorite sweet boys, Z and M, ages 15 and 14. They had sad, somber faces and Hiwot said they needed to talk to me. They wanted to know why, when I had come with packages for a few other kids, I had not found a family yet for them. I swallowed hard as I prepared my explanation, knowing it would sound lame and unacceptable, and that it still wouldn’t dull the reality that they would most likely be destined to live in Ethiopia without parents for the rest of their lives. “Are we bad boys, or is there something wrong with us?” they wanted to know. I explained about their age, and about how most families will specify a child under age 10 or maybe up to age 12, but rarely a teenage boy. I explained about the sovereignty of God, a tough concept for even the most spiritual adult to understand, and that if it was GOOD for them to be chosen by a family, they would be, and if not, it was because God had something bigger for them planned in Ethiopia. Still, it came down to the hard reality that Ethiopia is full of orphans…UNICEF estimates nearly 5 million who are growing without at least one parent, and many without both. Most of the children adopted are infants or toddlers, or sibling groups under age 5. Our mission as an organization has always been to work with the most needy kids and for this NGO, it means children without parents who are between 5 and 20. But it is hard when the children up to age 12 or 13 are chosen, leaving the 14 and 15 year-olds counting the months until they age-out at 16. “Should we stop hoping and simply accept Ethiopia as our home?” the older one asked. I gulped again, not wanting to tell him “yes”. This boy has been living in the project since he was about 9 years old. His mother died when he was small and he is truly a tender-heart. He loves and adores younger children and is a big-brother and helper to many. At 15, he still seems so “young” to me. I don’t want to disappoint him, yet I know that his chances now are very very slim. All I could say was, “There is only a very slim chance now that you will go Z, I’m sorry”. They were kind and respectful and made sure I knew that they were not angry, just wanting to understand. As I walked back to my room, I thought about how much ups and downs the last 2 days had embraced. Snuggling with orphans who live like a family, grieving with a couple over lost opportunities, rejoicing with children who learn of a new family in America, and disappointing another 2 children who realize their dream of a family will likely never become a reality. Hard moments, but real moments. This is my experience in Ethiopia…nothing is fake, nothing is pretentious…everything seems so significant that it makes much of how we live in the U.S. pale in comparison. I feel tired as I return to my computer, knowing that tomorrow will bring its own share of ups and downs as well. But I am so glad that God has enabled me and our family to see all of this, and to live all of this. I can’t imagine going through life in a fog of "privilege," not understanding more of the big picture. Thank you, Lord, for this privilege.

Days 4 and 5 – Hearing Stories…Making Changes

On Thursday I started early with meeting all of our 56 blind students who are enrolled in the program. Some were new and had to be enrolled for the first time, others needed reminding of the goals of the program…that they are to be in school all day and not begging. Most are doing very well. It was encouraging to hear of how well the kids were doing. One funny story was when I was doing the interviews myself with my limited Tigrinya. I would ask them about their age, their grade, how they were doing in their life, if they had any problems etc. When I asked them with whom they were living, I would then write down the name of their roomate. One young man said, “Benny”…so so I wrote it down, thinking I had never heard that name before. Then another later said the same name and I wondered who was this “Benny” that they were living with. Finally, another said “Benny” and I asked, “are you all living together…you and him and him
and Benny?” The kids looked at each other then laughed and said, “Alone….in Tigrinya Benny means ALONE”. I laughed and said, “oh my goodness…I was wondering who this Benny guy was!” After we finished at 5:30pm, I went to a friend’s home with some other foreigners to have dinner. They were our friends when we lived here before. After dinner, I was dropped at the House of Promise #1 with the 14 kids who are living there. They were eating dinner, laughing and visiting and as I watched them, I was really amazed at how much they live and function like a family. They wanted to know where all the kids who have left for adoption have gone, and we spread out an atlas on the ground to point to each location. Afterwards, I had the privilege of sharing with one girl, age 12, about her new family in America and giving her gifts from them. She smiled from ear to ear, hugging my neck after each gift saying, “Thank you Pam, I love you, I am
so happy!” When I went to leave it was already 10:30pm so I mentioned that I needed some bodyguards to walk me home the ¾ of a block. Three of the boys, age 13 and 14 jumped up immediately and one boy, Merid, said, “Wait me…” then he disappeared. He returned with a puffy jacket, his pants rolled to his shins, and one fuzzy glove on one hand only. He was walking with a swagger and said, “now I am ready” in as deep a voice as he could muster. I laughed and laughed. Really, I love those boys. They are all about to age out of our adoption program, being too old to pass the embassy guidelines for moving to America. I wish I could have the joy of sharing with them about a family who would take them and love them as their own. They are so amazing!

On Friday I shared lunch with a former caseworker and his wife and heard how difficult things have been for them lately. She nearly died in a public bus accident and missed her opportunity to finish her freshman year at government university. When this happens, the opportunity is lost forever, despite the reason. Now, her only option is private college costing about $500/year for 3 years. This seems a small amount to many Americans, but to this young couple who earns $100 per month, it is very cost-prohibitive. There are no student loans or scholarship programs from which to draw. As he said, “God wills it – either He will provide or she will not go.” Such faith often grows from doing without, as many of our Ethiopian friends know too well. In the afternoon, I had the sweet privilege of meeting with two more families who had been caring for orphans who were waiting for a family. The first two, a brother and sister ages 13 and 10 were so thrilled to pose in their new t-shirts bearing the name of their new town! The second family lived in a home about 10 x 10 with 2 small beds and dirt walls and a dirt floor. Their oldest daughter had died and they had her only child living with them in addition to their 4 others. All 7 of them living together in this small room. They wanted only for her to have a better life, and an opportunity to grow with her own mom and dad. I got to show her pictures of her new family, and of her new home in America. The grandmother reminded me with tears in her eyes that she was entrusting this child to me, and to this new family, and that she was trusting God first and the family second to raise this little girl as if she were their very own daughter. A big responsibility, I thought. In the evening, I visited the House of Promise orphanage again and this time I brought new movies from America. They were giddy to be watching Madagascar 2 and as we all piled around together on the mattress, they snuggled me and draped their arms and heads all over each other as if they were one large body. Again, I was humbled by their loving spirits and their eagerness to embrace one another. So many stories wrapped up in this little room…the little one who had spent his first 4 years in prison with his mother before coming to our home, the 3 who had been living in a brothel with their grown sister after their mother died, the 3 who had cared for their mother while she died of HIV and provided hospice care up to her death before coming to join this “family”. Beautiful faces, laughing at Moto Moto and Alex the Lion, and squeezing my hand or rubbing my arm gently as they sat at my side. “This”, I tell myself, “is what makes it ALL worthwhile!”

Day 3 – Settling In

I awoke to the sound of laughing children and voices in the streets…a familiar sound of Ethiopia. I started my very hot bath water (thank you Jesus!) and went down to greet the girls who were getting ready to leave for school. After my bath I worked on my computer with the blind student caseworker to update their files. The girls wandered in to study and always showered my cheek with kisses before sitting down. Love it. Later I was asked to define some words for them…”Pom…what is dejected? How about intoxicated?” Hmmm… that was a tough one to describe using only Tigrinya. Finally, by mentioning the homemade brews of Ethiopia (sewa and Tej) and then making hiccup sounds they all broke into giggles and I knew I had been successful. The houseworker had arrived and told me she would have coffee and breakfast ready soon so I enjoyed 2 cups of coffee and some embesha bread with jam as we visited about life. She is a dear woman with wonderful English…I feel so happy to have her in the home! She asked what I want for dinner so she can have it ready and then I headed out. On the way, I kissed as many faces as possible, laughing as children pointed and giggled at me on the way. I stopped in to check on our boy who is now feeling much better and his fever has broken.

At ORE, I spent the day with the staff updating children’s profiles and then enjoyed their prayer time with them at 11am. Entering a room where these staff are praying is like entering a holy temple. Their voices are all simultaneously singing in beautiful melodies as they lift their hands to heaven or sit on their knees with their heads bowed. I was given a translated list of prayer needs for today and went to work…I went back and forth between praying through the list and then simply basking in the wonder of their voices and their prayers, all in another language. The way Ethiopians say God is “Exchiaber” and I love listening to it roll of their lips in song or prayer with the words I recognize to mean “forever”, “praise” and “thank you”. I praised God for the privilege of being here, right now, working with these people who would do literally everything in their power to serve those in need. It is faith in action.

After lunch I got updates from Tigist, the head housemother for the HIV home on all the kids. She talked about each child with such animation, such emotion, sometimes even having tears in her eyes. She talked of their health, their behaviors, their growth since having better nutrition. She talked about the new one, Hagoose, and how his belly is so distended from malnutrition and how he needs close monitoring to finally improve and turn a corner. She talked about how the school at first refused him, saying he looked to unhealthy, but she and Getachew were able to persuade them to admit him. Where would these kids be without advocates such as these? Again, my heart overflows!

We made plans for tomorrow to meet with all 50 students in our blind student project, and I made another coffee appt. with our former caseworker and his wife for Friday. On Monday we will go to Adigrat to explore expansion of ORE’s family-based care project with 100 more kids. We talked about the land behind ORE which is managed by a govt. school. There is an opportunity for ORE to take it over and manage it as a private school, offering free education to 400 students from the community. They talked about the land in the corner, cleared for the next building which will house a multi-purpose room for training widows in income-generating activities and for recreation for the kids on rainy days. All these amazing things that I know God will bring to pass in His time, with His resources, coming from all over the world.

Now I am tucked away with my plate of rice and vegetables typing away listening to the sounds of an Ethiopian neighborhood…music playing, children screaming in joy or in anger, dogs barking, and the sound of my 12 girls outside as they study and visit. Already a request as come from the window…”Miss Pom…hello…how was your day? Can you come now to help me with my English?” I am tired, and part of me would like to just hide in my bedroom with a good book. But this is why I am here, to be with them and to take it all in. “Budehelew Meeshet…at kulta suh-at” I say (after my dinner, at 8pm). “Don’t forget” she says…”I wont forget” I tell her.

Day 2 - The Sweet Taste of Home

Awoke early today to head to the airport. My first laugh came when the airport employee asked about the Rubbermaid Actionpacker box I set on the security scanning belt. “Is it a Dog?” she asked. “No, not a dog,” I replied. I held my laughter in until I got away from the belt and machine so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. I was thankful I had not brought my dog in that airtight box…wow would that have been an ugly mess! I then made it through the check-in process without paying ANY excess baggage fees despite being 43kilos overweight. Again, I sensed the power of so many prayers covering my trip. I realized the sweetness of being “alone” on this trip was that I had time to reflect and think on all the times that I really am not “alone” at all. One of my friends had reminded me before I left that I was to have a wonderful time with my travelling companion (unseen)…and so far, we are having a blast. God is good, and I am more aware of His presence on this trip than ever before.

Arriving in Mekelle is always sweet for me – like a homecoming. The smells, the faces, and the sights are always refreshing. ORE director greeted me at the airport and we processed the trip as we rode towards the new guest house. As I pulled up, I saw a wonderful home with familiar faces. Our new guest house where I am staying is part of the larger compound created for the older girls to live in safety. We have 9 beautiful, wonderful blind females who threw their arms around me in welcome as I popped my head into one of their 2 bunk rooms. One of them boasted about her university results, saying she is headed to register today. The house is really comfortable, and I was humbled to realize the ORE staff had already moved all the furniture and my personal belongings into the new house and had it ready for me. They had prepared a coffee ceremony in the parlor and I enjoyed taking coffee with them. I had the privilege of giving Hiwot, the head housemother for the kids, a framed poster print I had arranged that had all 12 kids that have gone to the US for adoption from Operation Rescue so far. She cried and they were so thrilled to see the beautiful children so healthy and happy in their new families. We had a nice visit about the condition of the programs. It was fun to learn that 7 students tested for university this year and ALL SEVEN were admitted! Praise God.

One of our blind students, who has always been very very smart, just finished his first year at university studying Law. He approached Getachew and asked if he could have all of his 100 birr per month in advance so he could buy a law textbook in Braille to help him compete with the other students. Already, for his first year, he stood number 1 out of his class among the sighted students, but he said he needs this to succeed. Getachew told him that of course we would buy it for him, but not from his money but as an extra bonus, as a reward for his good work. I am so proud of him! Another student who is 29 years old and has 3 children and also a disabled husband scored high enough on her entrance exam to be accepted to Mekelle University to study English. Her oldest daughter who is almost 15 can help watch the two younger ones during the week and she can be home on weekends, but she cannot continue to provide for a niece who was dropped at their home and abandoned awhile back. ORE told her she has to take this opportunity for an education and offered to take custody of the girl, age 7, to welcome her into the House of Promise #1. She enrolled today and came by with her niece and the social affairs paperwork to give her to ORE. Not only will this family’s situation be changed forever by our student continuing her university training, but this young girl will likely find her way into an adoptive family in the next year. The student hugged me and said, “I thank God for this program and ORE as really they have saved my life!” Testimonies like this make it all worthwhile!

I learned then that one of our boys from House of Promise #1 is in the hospital so I went immediately to see the doctor. He was hot with fever and hooked up to an I.V. They told me the diagnosis was pneumonia but when I asked the symptoms, they said there is no cough and no congestion, only fever and vomiting. I talked with the doctor, who appeared to be about 27 years old. He confirmed pneumonia but then said he didn’t know if they had an xray yet. I asked him more questions, telling him my other concerns and that perhaps they need to search more. He returned an hour later to say maybe he needs TB treatment and asking if he has ever had it. I asked if they had tested him for TB or if there was indication on his xray and the doctor said, “no – but with high fever and some discomfort these may be indications of TB”. Now I am really longing for a well-trained doctor. The little guy sat up and ate some donut and some rice and drank some water with me and his fever began to go down. By dinnertime, he was feeling somewhat better. The doctor then came in and said “you are right – the xray is clear and so there is no pneumonia and there is no TB and also the malaria test is negative.” They continued him on the broad spectrum antibiotics for infection and noticed how he seemed to have improved, so maybe he just has a regular virus or bacterial infection. They are often so quick to diagnose here that unnecessary treatments or completely wrong ones are recommended. I was so thankful to be here to wipe his forehead and play with him. It was amazing to see how many workers from ORE and older kids from our homes came by to visit him, seeing that they all really do function like a family…it is wonderful to watch!

In the afternoon I spent more time at ORE meeting discussing program ideas and being reminded of why I really do love these guys and their commitment to children. They are serving the blind, meeting real needs, and providing the safety net that was desperately needed for the most vulnerable. I learned of our latest admission to House of Promise #3, the HIV Care home. His mother passed away, then his father sent an uncle to deliver him to the hospital for his sickness. After some time, the uncle was advised by the father to leave him and return to the countryside. The boy languished at the hospital for a month before someone told them about ORE and their work, and when they heard of him, immediately he was admitted. His name is Hagoose…which means “happy”. Thankfully, he will soon be all that and more, as he experiences the love of a mother and good food and medicine. Thank you Lord for providing so that these homes can be in place, and this group of people can be helped to serve the most needy in this place.

On my way home at 6:40pm, exhausted and hungry, I was wondering what I would eat. I arrived at home to find a plate sitting next to a pot with fresh pasta and homemade pasta sauce waiting for me. Then I opened my kitchen window to greet my girls and one of the blind ones whom I adore came to the window and said, “Pom…pleez….come play with us!” She pointed to their dorm room and how could I refuse? I told her I would come after dinner in my pajamas. I joined them later and they all gathered in one room to talk and “play”. We talked about dating and marriage and school and I helped them with their English homework and vocabulary. Finally, I told them I had to go to bed as it was 9:15 and I was exhausted. They asked, “are you afraid sleeping alone” just to make sure I was okay going to my room. I love it. I love being here with them at this moment. My heart overflows! Thank you for your prayers!

Day 1 – Addis

This morning we woke and had a nice light breakfast at the guest house and I enjoyed a lukewarm bath of 5” depth and when I adjusted the water I noticed that it gave me a nice little shock…probably from the hot water heater not being grounded properly. These are the simple little surprises of life in Ethiopia! Our driver met us at 9:30am and we headed out to accomplish our goals. We stopped at Bethazhata orphanage to pay a visit to two children who are waiting for their court date in October for an adoptive family. I got some photos and some kisses and traced their feet so the mom and dad would know what size shoes to bring. Fun stuff. Then we went to lunch and ate while we tried not to watch the very provocative TV program and videos that were playing. Sometimes in their efforts to be “modern”, the very ugly side of American culture is shown on television here in Ethiopia…I really hate that. We then headed to a project aimed at employing blind men and women to make rugs and brooms and brushes so that they can be off the streets. After this, we made a few phone calls and then stopped in to visit Dr. John, a veterinarian working in Mekelle that had recently had surgery. After that visit, we headed to the Ethiopian airlines office where I was propositioned by two not very nice looking young guys. I was thankful for my taxi driver being close at hand so I could immediately retreat to his car and roll up the window as the one guy tried desperately to convince me, “I’m not sleazy you know…but I like your soft hair!” Nice. Always an adventure. Unfortunately, we had to go to a different office with less of a line (and in a better part of town) and then had to wait about 45 minutes to confirm my flight for 6:30am tomorrow morning. That means I get to leave at 4:50am to go to the airport. Despite my long flight, and the change in schedule, I managed to stay alert enough today until sitting in the lobby of Ethiopian airlines waiting for my number to be called. I got a little sleepy and then a little goofy with my friend Laura. We realized very quickly that the guard did not have a sense of humor. Oh well. After that, we headed to the guest house to unwind then headed out to a café up the road for a burger and their new “wireless internet” . I have to see it to believe it! I guess if you are reading this, you know it was successful. Hoping for a good night’s sleep tonight!

Pam’s Travel Log – Ethiopia Fall 2009 The Flight:

There is one benefit to this being my 4th flight to Ethiopia in 18 months….the little tricks and comforts that you learn each trip. For example, this time I came equipped with a face mask for sleeping, a head cushy for my neck, comfortable workout pants for sleeping, and a reading light. I asked if the flight was full when I checked in and stood at my seat until I saw the incoming people really slow down and then nabbed a 3-seat section in the middle that was not yet claimed, sitting on one side and laying my stuff in the middle seat. When the fasten-seat-belt light came on and the engines revved up, I realized I had scored a great little bed for the 15 hour trip…praises to Jesus! Just after they finished the security and safety talk, I spread out with a blanket, my cushy pillow and my face mask and crashed until about 1 hour before Rome. It was a surprise benefit of travelling by myself and not feeling responsible for anyone else. There were 5 other adoptive families travelling on this flight and I enjoyed spending time visiting with them.

When I arrived at the airport, I got through visa and stamping fairly quickly and my luggage was some of the first to arrive, so I felt really encouraged as I headed through customs screening. That encouragement quickly faded as I realized that for the first time in 5 trips to Ethiopia I was flagged for having 2 laptops and an LCD monitor (that I had brought as donations) in my luggage. They wanted to charge me $120 for the broken laptop with non-working screen and $30 for the monitor as a “tax” and I wasn’t happy and tried my best to argue and call the director of ORE and have him talk to them to tell them it was all for the children. We first made plans to leave it there and have ORE pick it up on a later trip with their tax-exempt status, but then thought it might be easier to pay and get it now for convenience. After about 90 minutes of hassling, I knelt down on my knees before the most sympathetic handler and begged for his help, tears coming to my eyes because I was so tired and just wanted to go meet my friend who was texting me from outside the airport. He walked me over to the payment counter and another Ethiopian passenger seeing my tears heard I was bringing it all for charity and said, “I will pay her whole bill – whatever it is…it is not for her but for charity”. I objected at first but than another Kenyan passenger said, “sometimes you have to be the receiver” so I agreed and told him, “Amesedgenallow and Exsabier Yistillin” (Thank you, and may God cause you to have more and more). The man told me he had been to school in the states and had that great opportunity and was now running a business in Dubai. Another little gift from God on the trip.